Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Beefheart and the Baroness

I just can't help but think that Captain Beefheart and the Baroness would have made the cutest couple.  

"We are here today to celebrate the marriage of Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven and Don Van Vliet..." doesn't that just sound good.

Though Don, commonly known by the pseudonym Captain Beefheart, was a little young for the Elsa I still think they still could have had some fun.

If they had married they would of road off into the sunset on emu-back, Elsa looking like temptation herself with tomato soup can bra and teaspoon earrings, Beefheart in trout mask replica.  Cans following and dangling from strings producing atonal and rhythmless music, it's really a beautiful thought.

Captain Beefheart would sing lovely little excerpts from his songs, 

"Light floats down day river on uh red raft o' blood

Night blocks out d' heaven like uh big black shiny bug

Its hard soft shell shinin' white in one spot well

It's hard place dat I'm livin' but I'm doin' well well".

She would then whisper sweet nothings into his ear, 

"Take spoon --scalpel--

Scrape brains clear from you--

how it hurts to be void !

blast flew

over twin hillocks


singeing--seering satanic stink--


blushroses !"

If jesus was a matchmaker this would have been his first.

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